About

About A.J.

Who am I, really? Butcher? Baker? Candlestick Maker? If this were Twitter, I would only have the space to say I’m an evangelical Christian, a soon-to-be-divorcee, a father, and a friend.

Thankfully, this isn’t Twitter. 🙂

Have at thee, Zorro!

Apart from the reason for the alias (shared in the side note):

I became a teacher of literature and written composition as a result of the process of elimination. When I’d eliminated everything in which I was not naturally gifted, “English Teacher” appeared to me as the only option, and I’m very glad it did.

I became a researcher as a result of sheer survival. If not for the internet and my own doggedness for the truth, well, I shudder at the thought.

I have become an advocate for other men who have experienced the trauma of emotional abuse as a result of having been raised by Captain America and others like him. After leading an online support group this year, I’m forming plans with other survivors to launch a nationwide effort to help men in crisis, men in transition, and men in recovery, as well as begin to address the stigma surrounding the topic.

And I’m now a writer, partly as a result of my love for stories, but mostly because my newfound emotional state demands it. Facts and details are vital, but both need the vehicle of a well-crafted story to penetrate the heart and mind as facts and details cannot.

And when a part that is central to your psychological make-up is restored to you? Yeah. I’m a bluebird: free of my cage, in mid-flight, needing – and finally able – to sing as the other birds sing.

Christian. Dad. Friend. Teacher. Researcher. Advocate.

That’s enough for today, I think. Here’s to whatever else I may become in whatever time I have left.

About This Work

As a survivor of decades of emotional abuse, I believe very strongly in efforts of advocacy.

If you search online, you’ll find all types of works dedicated to helping victims and survivors of every sexual orientation. But you won’t find anything dedicated specifically to helping males and those who identify as males that are provided by others like them.

a photo of a bull staring at the camera

It’s my belief that this is a result of the sacred cow in our culture that says a man can’t be a victim. Plain and simple.

My own experience backs this up. So few people are equipped to begin to believe that a thing could happen to a man. It is out of this experience, and the phenomenon behind it, this reality influenced by this sacred cow, that I write.

There are only a few voices out there willing to risk political slings and arrows for the sake of their fellow men. “Only fools go where angels dare to tread,” goes the old line.

Well, for this cause, I’m glad to play the fool. As a result of emotional abuse, men are hurting just as badly as women are, and they need help.

And together, I believe we can build a bridge between those with resources and those men in need.


One thing you can do to help is to share whatever articles you find interesting or helpful to the discussion.

The other would be to consider donating to this effort. I’m currently in the process of rebuilding my life, so I would greatly appreciate it.

I’ve already begun to plan the building of an organization that could meet the needs of men who are experiencing emotional abuse, others have volunteered to help me, and I am wholly committed to the task.

To the next chapter!